Tuesday, October 11, 2011

memorial for a girl i never met

The sun is getting flighty, and
I'm still eating ice, and shivering, and
eating more.

Pink eyes
for everyone in that chapel.
Crumpled tissues on the floor, glass stained blue,
I cried for her tree new in the ground
the leaves still shaped like hearts.

B changed his nice shoes for boots
and as I waited he told me they were
Wedding and funeral shoes.
"I've only worn them five times. Now six

I think that was both.”

Who did she marry?
Her depression?
Or is it the survivors marrying grief,
marrying a crater?
The chapel marrying
its blue windows to the sky--

Marry me, suicide
and I will hold you until your ribs break
and your strings of sadness don't
I will hold you through skinny lightning
will hold your Norse vigil
will hold your only real question in my hand
and forgetting it's there,
worry it to shreds.

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